Monkey See, Monkey Do

Yesterday, while listening to a recent Family Talk podcast on Robert Wolgemuth's book “The Most Important Place on Earth,” a comment was made about how little children are listening when you, as a parent, provide them with instruction, even when it seems like they might not be picking up on it.

This triggered a funny example of this concept from my own life.

While growing up, like any other household, the Lyons home received many a phone call from those trying to solicit donations or have us complete some type of market research survey. My father was usually the one to end up taking such calls, and while he almost never aquiesced to the requests of the caller, he always did so in a most gracious manner. The most common answer we heard him give to the person on the end of the line was “No thanks, but thanks for offering!”

It became very evident to my parents that my brother had picked up on this concept of graciously declining an offer, when one day, my family was riding in our 1979 Silver Toyota Tercel. My parents were sitting in the front seat, and my brother and I were sitting in the back seat. My brother and I must have been arguing over something, because I made the exclamation “I hit you! I hit you!” A statement that my brother soon replied to with “No thanks, but thanks for offering!”

Another example of this is that my dad always provided us with the model of thanking someone using their name when purchasing an item at a retail store, fast food restaurant, or been provided with some type of service. He would always look at the name tag of the employee assisting him, so that when their interchange was complete, he would finish with “Thanks, John” (or whatever the person's name happened to be).

I may have thought that this habit was silly at the time, but picked up on it, and it has now become habitual in my interactions with those assisting me.

The habit of thanking someone, using their name, seems simple and perhaps unnecessary, but when you do it, you are communicating the following:

1. I am acknowledging that you, specifically, have been helpful to me.
2. In taking the time to figure out what your name is, I am showing care for you as an individual, someone who has been created in the image of God and whom He loves as much as he loves me.

The point of the anecdotes above is simply that in parenting, you need to be intentional about even the little exchanges that you have with others. If you intentionally treat those you come into contact with in a kind and respectful manner (especially, when the other has not treated you particularly kindly), God can use that to work in your child's life to build godly character in him or her.