Monkey See, Monkey Do

Yesterday, while listening to a recent Family Talk podcast on Robert Wolgemuth's book “The Most Important Place on Earth,” a comment was made about how little children are listening when you, as a parent, provide them with instruction, even when it seems like they might not be picking up on it.

This triggered a funny example of this concept from my own life.

While growing up, like any other household, the Lyons home received many a phone call from those trying to solicit donations or have us complete some type of market research survey. My father was usually the one to end up taking such calls, and while he almost never aquiesced to the requests of the caller, he always did so in a most gracious manner. The most common answer we heard him give to the person on the end of the line was “No thanks, but thanks for offering!”

It became very evident to my parents that my brother had picked up on this concept of graciously declining an offer, when one day, my family was riding in our 1979 Silver Toyota Tercel. My parents were sitting in the front seat, and my brother and I were sitting in the back seat. My brother and I must have been arguing over something, because I made the exclamation “I hit you! I hit you!” A statement that my brother soon replied to with “No thanks, but thanks for offering!”

Another example of this is that my dad always provided us with the model of thanking someone using their name when purchasing an item at a retail store, fast food restaurant, or been provided with some type of service. He would always look at the name tag of the employee assisting him, so that when their interchange was complete, he would finish with “Thanks, John” (or whatever the person's name happened to be).

I may have thought that this habit was silly at the time, but picked up on it, and it has now become habitual in my interactions with those assisting me.

The habit of thanking someone, using their name, seems simple and perhaps unnecessary, but when you do it, you are communicating the following:

1. I am acknowledging that you, specifically, have been helpful to me.
2. In taking the time to figure out what your name is, I am showing care for you as an individual, someone who has been created in the image of God and whom He loves as much as he loves me.

The point of the anecdotes above is simply that in parenting, you need to be intentional about even the little exchanges that you have with others. If you intentionally treat those you come into contact with in a kind and respectful manner (especially, when the other has not treated you particularly kindly), God can use that to work in your child's life to build godly character in him or her.

Courageous Men

This evening, I saw the Sherwood Pictures movie, Courageous. My take? Phenomenal.
This movie affirms and encourages men to step up and become increasingly that which God has called them to be. In essence, I felt the movie called men out, saying something to the effect of “You can do this. You have what it takes. Because of the power of God at work in your life, you can be used by God to have a great and lasting impact on future generations of your family.”

How exciting the privilege men have been given by God to be men and serve as heroic husbands, fathers, and simply to be male. Men are called by God to serve as the leader of the family unit, a privilege that comes with awesome responsibility and a role for which they are accountable to God.

Personally, the movie increased my excitement about potentially being a wife and mother in the future. What a privilege to be a helper and encourager to a husband as he follows after the Lord's calling for him. Additionally, what a privilege for both mother and father to have the opportunity to participate in raising boys and girls who will also be used by God for His purposes.

Here's what I would love to tell men everywhere: You have what it takes. Step up and accept the call to manhood. Do what God has uniquely gifted you as a man to do. Through the power of God at work in you, be courageous!

Music: A Glimpse of His Work

Today, while rehearsing Tchaikovsky and Prokofiev in orchestra,
I was struck by what seemed to me to be a nice comparison
to our lives as Christians.

The music reminds me of the Gospel and the experience of knowing
the Lord Jesus as Savior. If I were to attempt to explain to someone
unfamiliar with the music what it sounds like and what the experience
of getting to play this music feels like, I'm sure I would be lacking in
words to convey the excitement of this experience. When trying to
describe to a nonbeliever what it is to have a relationship with the Lord,
words don't seem quite sufficient to show a clear picture of the beauty of
the Christian life and a relationship with the Lord (and really, the
nonbeliever needs the Lord to work in his heart to help him see this
and accept the message of the Gospel).

Furthermore, as Christians, we also have the opportunity to participate
in the work God is doing of drawing many individuals into relationship
with Himself.

From previous experience, I know that I get so much more enjoyment
out of the music at a concert when I get to participate in playing it
rather than sitting back and enjoying it from a seat in the audience.
I consider it a privilege to play in the CSULB Symphony Orchestra this
school year and especially to participate in producing such beautiful music.

It is also indeed a privilege that Lord allows us (believers) to be used in
a small way as part of the work that he is doing. We can choose to
participate by serving Him obediently as ambassadors through witnessing
to others and living lives that glorify God. When we do participate, we
experience increasing joy as Christians.

We should not be content to sit back enjoying the music while we
have the opportunity to take part in performing His glorious music,
an orchestrated plan to reconcile the lost to Himself.
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All this is from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and
gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling
the world to Himself in Christ, not counting men’s sins against
them. And He has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We
are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making His
appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled
to God. 2 Corinthians 5:18-20 (NIV)

My Dad "Stepped Up"

Recently I wrote a paper for my personality research class that mentioned an incident in which I was verbally bullied by three girls in the third grade. Working on this project allowed me time to reflect on this incident as well as an act of courageous manhood exhibited by my father in the midst of this.

After being teased/bullied by these girls for a while, my dad paid a visit to the fathers of two of the girls during dinner time to talk with them about how their daughters were treating me.

My father intervened on my behalf. He took action to protect me from the verbal abuse of these girls. In doing so, he demonstrated his great love for me as well as his commitment to his God-given responsibilities as a father and man. Looking back on this incident, I feel so loved in knowing that my father was willing to step up on my behalf.

My earthly father's actions in this situation provide a glimpse into something even greater that my heavenly father, God, has done for me and you. Romans 5:8 says "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." God intervened on our behalf to save us from the punishment we deserve for our sin against him. Because of his great love for us, he has made salvation available to all those who will believe on him (Acts 16:31). I am thankful for God's great love for me and the action he has taken on my behalf.

In addition, I am thankful for my father and proud of the godly and courageous man that he is. As I pray and wait expectantly for God to provide me with a husband, I am glad that I have been allowed the opportunity to observe my father in this role. My father has demonstrated to me that he believes me to be worthy of love and respect. I will marry a man who demonstrates the same love and respect for the person I am.



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For more information and encouragement with regard to this topic, check out a new book related to this topic of courageous manhood called

Stepping Up: A Call to Courageous Manhood. This book was written by Dennis Rainey of FamilyLife Today to challenge men to rise to the role to which God has called them.

What to Look for in a Potential Spouse

Just came across an excellent, concise list of qualities to look for in a potential spouse. This was written by Dennis Rainey of Family Life.

To see the full article, please click here.

What to look for in a potential husband:
1. Fears God.
2. Not afraid to love.
3. Can admit his faults, his mistakes, and when he's hurt you.
4. Can control his passions.
5. Honors his parents.
6. Is in the process of becoming a leader who knows how to serve.

What to look for in a potential wife:
1. Fears God and whose hope is in the Lord.
2. Honors her parents.
3. Knows how to ask for forgiveness, admit she's wrong, grant forgiveness, and give grace when you fail her.
4. Wants to be a wife and mother.
5. Displays character in her modest dress.
6. Knows how to follow a man.

Media to the Glory of God

Among the gray areas in the life of a Christian, discernment in media consumption is a significant topic.

We take in so much through music, movies, and TV shows that it would be foolish to assume that what we watch/listen to won't affect us. Sometimes Christians will say that it's alright for them to watch movies with loads of profanity and sexual scenarios because it doesn't bother them. Why is that? One possibility is that they've already watched so many of these types of movies/TV shows, that they've become desensitized to this type of content.

Philipians 4:8 tells us that the things on which we should dwell are things that are "true," "noble," "right," "pure," "lovely," "admirable," "excellent," and "praiseworthy." So much of the content of firms today are things that grieve the heart of God. Why would we want to spend time dwelling on these types of things?

In addition, so many of the TV shows/movies today feature attitudes that are disrespectful towards God, marriage, men, sex, and the family unit. Many feature unmarried couples living together as normal and expected behavior. An increasing number also depict homosexual relationships as an acceptable alternative to marriage.

As Christians, it is important to set boundaries with regard to relationships, the activities to which we commit ourselves, etc. Media consumption should be among the places where we draw boundaries for ourselves.

Your boundaries with regard to media is something that you should pray about and you may also want to consult a pastor or an older mature Christian for advice.

Once you've set a standard for yourself, hold to it. If you have an accountability partner, you may even want to let him/her know so that they can check up with you with regard to your media intake.

One extremely helpful tool is Plugged In, a ministry of Focus on the Family. They provide detailed reviews about new movies, music, and TV shows and especially alert you to the following types of content: positive elements, spiritual elements, violence, sexuality, profanity, and other negative elements. They even have an iphone app! I would highly recommend this great resource.

Above all, seek to honor God with the media that you allow into your body.

For some additional reading on media discernment, check out the following articles:

It's Never 'Just a Movie'
The Vixenette
A Knight Too Dark?